I'm dying to breathe.

Here I am 1 in the morning, crying my eyes out.. So whatever I say here, it's my tears talking.

I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and
You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

Hello, good morning, how ya been?
Yesterday left my head kicked in
I never thought I could fall like that
Never knew that I could hurt this bad

Isn't it ironic that when you're hurting, that's when you feel the most alive? Maybe because when you're in love, you're oblivious to everything else. You become ignorant and make excuses for being blind. I DON'T KNOW. I don't know if I'm sad, mad, or just numb. It's an up & down battle with my emotions right now. One of my friends was right. "Truth is you're not gonna have it together, no matter how many times you go to this stage. It sucks really bad." It's like I'm absolutely FINE/A-OK for half the day, and the next half, I am going crazy. I start to feel chest pains and my eyes start to swell up with tears. Especially at night. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. Well, I feel ALIVE right now. I feel every single emotion, even happiness, mind you. I'm happy I am FREE, yet I am sad because I have lost a friend. Man, I fucked up, real bad and deep down I know it was all my fault. I started all this pain. Aadldhalkhgksdgjeitei. This shit always happens. Funny though, I don't feel sorry for myself. I'm just really, really sad. I maybe the only one to understand this blog. Whatevers. I f/cking lost. The end.

Hello world
Hope you're listening
Forgive me if I’m young
For speaking out of turn
There’s someone I’ve been missing
I think that they could be
The better half of me
They’re in the wrong place trying to make it right
But I’m tired of justifying.

Waiting, Wishing, Wondering. THAT'S ALL I EVER DO. I think after all of this, I will learn how to be cold and never love like this anymore. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Ohhhhh I'm back where I used to be.. Wishfully thinking, I hope this stage doesn't last as long as last time. I can't take this kind of pressure anymore. My heart has holes in them by now. No exaggeration either. I been there, done that. Fuck. I just want my friend back. Screw the relationship. They never work out. Friends last forever. I need my friend back. Ah, it will probably never happen..

HMM.
"You're special to me.."
"I'll never break your heart."
"Always.."
"I'll always love you"
"I won't ever leave you behind"
"I'll never leave you're life completely"
"You're my only one"
"I promise."

God help me.

EDIT 10:57am;

Damn.. rough night. I'm really having a hard time at night. It really sucks. :\ I really wish I was like you. You make it look so easy to ignore me after all we've been through. If I had half of your attitude, I'd be fine. Shit. I'm just not like that. I have a big heart, that's my flaw. ;[