Live & Learn

♫ Dashboard Confessional - Widows Peak
"We're stronger than before the strain had broken us and there is fight in us, I know."

I realized a long time ago that I can't really depend on anyone but myself in my family. Everyone is just always doing their own thing. It hurts me to see that sometimes they don't consider each other's feelings. I don't know. My family is all over the place. It's always been that way. I can't really do much about it but go ahead and do my own thing too. I'm nothing like my family. I'm more private with my life than theirs. I always try to exclude myself from them so that I won't get judged or looked at differently. I get overlooked sometimes and pushed to the side which I don't mind sometimes but it gets really hard when you expect their support, and you won't get it from them. I'm trying to accept this, but I can't. Well, they do support me sometimes like I said. But they do things that they are not aware of and it's not like I can tell them what's happening because it'll just be used against me. I'm not angry or whatever, just contemplating on these things. I'm on my grown woman tip, so yeah. Realizations are all bouncing around in my head. This is just one of them. I feel that when I get on my own two feet and really financially stable, I'll really separate myself from them. I just can't stand it sometimes.

Anyways, nothing really new with me, just work, etc. I'm getting the hang of things, which is good. Love is great again. 9 months on Sunday. Wohoo. Happy 9 Months babe!! <3